Archive for the ‘Theatre’ Category


Posted on September 26, 2011 - by

Remain Seated

After the success of Fish and Chips Twice, we wanted to experiment more with short theatre scripts. Writing for a 15 minute running time has many of the challenges of the short story – it’s a sparse format, often performed on a bare stage, and really focuses your attention on the power and energy of every single word of dialogue.

This it taken from the final draft of the script.

Remain Seated

Keen & Pandini | 2010

[…]

JUDITH:
Oh there’s no need to apologies to me. I’ve actually heard swear words before you know, dear.

BRIAN:
Still, don’t want to cause offence, do I? End up like Mike. He used to drive the Three Day Mystery of Loch Ness Mini Tour.

JUDITH:
Did he offend the monster?

BRIAN:
Nah. Worse. Patchy. Mr Peters. Comes with us ever year, does Patchy. God, he’s hard work. Questions, questions, questions. I had him on Wordsworth’s Lakes. I mean, do I look like I know whether they are the same friggin variety of daffodils as in Wordsworth’s time? No I bleeding don’t. Still. Mike was way out of line.

JUDITH:
Patchy?

BRIAN:
Yeah. I mean, God knows it must be tough for you older folks. Body giving up and all that. But believe me, there are some places that you just can’t make a toilet stop every five minutes. I mean, take the A303. Wonders of Wiltshire. Stonehenge and all that shit. Sorry. Stuff. Bloody miles before you can let them out.

JUDITH:
So, Mr Peters has bladder control issues?

BRIAN:
I should say. Which combined with Mike’s self-control issues proved to be unfortunate. Patchy’s giving him the third degree about Awld Nessie there – how many sightings? What time of day? Were they all by Americans? – that kind of thing and Mike’s just had enough and tells him.. Well he tells him to piss off doesn’t he? And Patchy’s so offended that he does. If you catch my meaning.

JUDITH:
I do.

[…]


Posted on September 16, 2009 - by

Fish and Chips Twice

The Off Cut Festival is fantastic. It showcases new writing by inviting the submission of 15 minute stage scripts. Winning entries are then performed several times over a period and voted for by the audience and a panel of judges.

Fish and Chips Twice was our entry in 2009 and we were very happy to have it selected for performance from over 500 entries. Hooray for us!

Here’s a little taster from the script.

Fish and Chips Twice

Keen & Pandini | 2009

[…]

RACHEL:
Doesn’t that make it a strange choice then? Of location? Somewhere you think is beautiful and that made you happy? Talk about making it hard for yourself – no wonder you sat back down again. Now, if you were somewhere you really hated – wouldn’t that be easier? Give you a bit more encouragement?

KEITH:
I don’t need encouragement.

RACHEL:
No, no, I know but you see my point? Why aren’t you doing the deed at your least favourite place?

KEITH:
Because I suspect that the landlady of the Bay View Bed and Breakfast in Birmingham would object.

RACHEL:
There isn’t a bay in Birmingham.

KEITH:
There wasn’t any breakfast and you couldn’t call that flea-infested plank a bed, either, so I can only conclude that accuracy was not a prime concern for them. I hate Birmingham. Annie hated Birmingham.

[…]