Posted on June 26, 2009 - by

Inside Out

Every year, sudents at Redroofs Theatre School produce a film and TV showcase. A number of original pieces are professionally filmed, directed and edited for a screening at BAFTA. We were commissioned to write a pilot-style TV drama for this showcase.

The Other Side

Keen & Pandini | 2010

[…]

A white transit van makes its way slowly up the drive and stops at the front of the building. On the side of the van we see the badly painted sign: TERRY JOBS ODD JOBS and underneath: NO JOBS TOO SMALL FOR JOBS.
TERRY gets out of the van and stretches his legs.
He’s joined by LITTLE BILLY and TAD. TERRY opens the back doors of the van to reveal buckets, cloths and ladders.

TERRY:
Right lads – new contract. Let’s try and keep it for more than a week, shall we? No arsing around. No talking to the prisoners.

CASSIE and SAVANNA appear from a side door, and light up cigarettes. They see the boys and smile.

LITTLE BILLY:
Women’s prison.

TAD
Cool potatoes!

LITTLE BILLY and TAD high-five each other. TERRY shakes his head.

TERRY:
That was no talking to the prisoners, got it? No talking.

LITTLE BILLY:
Yeah, yeah, no talking. We heard you, Boss.

TAD
Message received.

TERRY:
Like it was ‘no talking’ to the nurses. Message didn’t exactly get through there, did it? So I’m just making sure that this time we’re all clear, alright? No talking. No shouting. No whistling. Nothing.

TAD and LITTLE BILLY exchange smirks

TERRY:(CONT’D)
And no sign language. Don’t even look at them. We need a good steady job and this is a regular gig if you two can manage to keep your noses clean for a bleeding change.

LITTLE BILLY:
Clean noses, clean windows, clean underwear, the works. Don’t you worry.

TERRY:
Yeah right, what have I got to worry about with you two monkeys around? Two hours. Two hours I left you at that bloody home. ‘Old people’, I thought ‘how much of a distraction can they be?’ So I nip off to the shops…

TAD
…betting ones, shall we say?

TERRY:
We’re not talking about me. I nip off to the shops, come back expecting to see twenty clean windows and find you two half cut in the staff room without so much as a damp shammy to show for your time…

TAD
Strictly speaking, there was a damp…

TERRY:
Don’t even finish that. It was wrong and I haven’t been able to watch Casualty since. We were lucky that one of them was the Sister or it would have been in the papers, I swear. Give me more grief than her indoors with her chuffin dog shows you two.

TAD
Are we actually doing this job or just listening to you all day?

TERRY:
Less of the cheek. I just don’t want any more incidents.

LITTLE BILLY:
Told you, don’t worry.

TERRY:
Don’t worry, he says. Go on, get on with it. I’ll be in the van. Not worrying.

0 Comments

We'd love to hear yours!

Comments are closed.